Rahkua's Blog

Rahkua's Blog

A social commentary on the world through my eyes...

Cat Calling…..We DON'T Like It!

"Hey babygirl, how's your day"

"You are so beautiful"

"I'm not hitting on you, but I just wanted to let you know you look beautiful"

"Oooh, you riding that bike"

"How many miles you get on that thing?"

"Can I ride on the handle bars"

"Damn you look good on that bike"

"I bet you stay fit on that…I can tell"

"Phhewewwwtpheeewwwww (whistle sound)"

"Aye girl, aye!"

"Where you going, can I come with you?"

"Goodmorning beautiful"

"Hey beautiful"

"Smile, it'll make your day better"

"Let me talk to you for a second"

"Can we be friends? Like I don't want to hit on you, I just want to talk"

"If I bring you the moon and the stars will you just go on one date with me?"

"Can I have a hug?"

"Excuse me..."

"Oowwwww!"

"I bet I could put a smile on yo face, with ya fine ass"

"Damn girl!"

"I don't want to bother you but..." STOP RIGHT THERE....If you do't want to bother me just stop talking, turn around, and walk away!

 

The above quotes are just a couple of the sentences I hear on a DAILY basis when I leave my house. As you can probably tell, it starts to annoy me. 

 

Recently, a "catcalling" video went viral where a woman followed by a hidden camera documented her day capturing the constant barrage of guys delivering many of those same above lines. The video got mixed reactions. Most women could sympathize with it because we experience it ourselves and it's so commonplace that it's almost surprising (albeit relieving) when a period of 30min goes by without the barrage. 

--- Watch the video here:

 

At the same time, there were of course a whole host of guys who just didn't get it. They are no doubt some of the participants in what they call as "compliment giving". Here's a youtube clip with a "battle of the sexes" where the guy is obviously in stuck in an antiquated and misogynist mindset….one that assures him women should be grateful for these "compliments":

 

This rant (so to speak) may seem like it's coming out of the blue since the story is pretty "old" now (in terms of media exposure), but while the story is "old", the behavior is not. Today was no different. From the minute I leave my door step to the minute I return, my personal space is invaded by these "compliment givers" who give themselves permission to invite themselves into my life at any given moment. In addition to the normal "innocent" (yet annoying) comments I get, I was "propositioned" several times today and just wanted a moment to vent. 

 

How many women out there feel where I'm coming from?

My Perfect Husband

So, people always ask me, "what's your type". I never have a straight up answer for them because truthfully the answer isn't so cut and dry...I don't have a type per se, (meaning I don't have a preference for instance of short vs. tall; dark vs. light; skinny vs. thicker; introverted vs. extroverted; leo vs. sagittarius etc.) BUT I do in general know what I like and what I don't I guess... 

 

SO what I have decided to do is put together a "little" list that compiles what my ideal mate would be. I left out obvious things like "doesn't beat me" or "doens't have a porn fetish" or "isn't a murderer" or "likes women" for streamlining purposes...but hopefully those things are inferred/intuited.

I suspect that no person in the world will be EXACTLY what we want our ideal mate to be but if I can get close that'd be just peachy. The "mandatory" things have an asterisk* next to them lol...

 

 

*  Here goes...My ideal husband:

 

  1. Is a Christian*
  2. Wants to father children (with me…)* and does not already have children (with someone else)
  3. Does not own or want to own dog(s)* (or any other pets/animals)
  4. Believes in gender equality (to a reasonable extent) BEWARE OF DOUBLE STANDARDS!
  5. Enjoys cooking and cleaning (or at least doesn't mind taking an equal share in the execution of both)
  6. Is intelligent/academically inclined
  7. Has never cheated on a serious, exclusive girlfriend
  8. Hasn't been married
  9. Likes Beyonce* 
  10. Is health conscious
  11. Makes me (and what I want how I want them) a priority
  12. Is a "texter"
  13. Has no issues with my profession's requirements
  14. Is well groomed
  15. Has nice parents/siblings/family (that get along well with me)
  16. Gets along well with my parents/siblings
  17. Is a gentleman (i.e. opens my door; says yes/no ma'am/sir to elders; relinquishes seat to women/elders/handicapped; offers coat when it's cold; etc.)
  18. Is my friend
  19. Uses the "B-word" and "N-word" (and curses in general) very sparsely or not at all
  20. Is not a profuse alcohol or drug user*

 

*  Preferences that aren't necessarily deal breakers....would be great if he:

 

  1. Is from the South
  2. Likes the occassional meditation session
  3. Loves to read
  4. Has never cheated on anyone he professed to be dating
  5. Has a good singing voice
  6. Likes Beyonce's music
  7. Plays an instrument
  8. Is good at math
  9. Has good credit
  10. Has a 6-pack (abs)
  11. Is no older than 2 years my senior and no younger than 1 year my junior
  12. Is good with computers
  13. Is a vegetarian/pescetarian (or at least won't care if meats aren't included in meals I prepare and expects our children to be raised meat-free)
  14. Has good fashion sense
  15. Likes to travel
  16. Can swim
  17. Doesn't mind driving (in lieu of me)
  18. Great sense of humor
  19. Gives me his passwords
  20. Likes giving good surprises (gifts, trips, massages, outings etc.)

 

I'm sure there are other things that come to mind, but I decided to put a cap of 20 on each list so as not to seem to overwhelming and demanding lol. 

But, it has been asked, so I have answered....THIS is what I look for in a guy!

 

 

Making the Bed...

It's funny; growing up my dad would always force me to make my bed. He would yell (admittedly after asking numerous times) and i would pout and begrudgingly complete the menial chore. From adolescence all the way to young adulthood, I would just die every time i was reminded to tidy covers that were just going to get right back messy at the end of the night. I would  sometimes even choose a whooping over following directions…admittedly a foolish choice since, of course, I still had to make my bed at its conclusion, but with snot bubbles and tears to adorn the covers in the process.

 

I moved out of my parents house at 18 when I went off to college a thousand miles away carrying along with me all the lessons and chore knowledge and responsibility and independence I had gained at home. I knew how to do the simple things that baffled many a college student around me…like cook, or laundry, or…yep, make my bed. (I now realize how much of a difference a made bed makes and I would just die if I came home to a bed of haphazardly tossed sheets and pillows disrupting the chi of my living space!)

 

While there is definitely a balance between the lessons we learn at home and those we pick up through social interaction and just living in general, it all starts with the values and systematic routine bestowed upon us by our parent(s) from the start. 

 

I don't always take my time with sheet tucking perfection…but my bed is always made before I lay down to sleep at night...

 

Could it be a metaphor for life? lol…

SHOW ME THE MONEY!?

         image

 

I was a part of the street team for a candidate in the race for a Congressional seat a couple of months ago. Unfortunately the candidate did not end up winning. Although some of the policies the candidate stands for don't align with my beliefs, it's weird to feel like I wasted those hours of door knockin' for them not to even win….at least I got some good exercise out of it right?

 

So anyway, I got to thinking…what happens to all that money political candidates raise when they lose the race!? ME? I feel weird about losing out on all those walking hours; how do the financial supporters feel about losing out on all those dollars? And more importantly where do those dollars go now??

 

Moderately curious, I put the question to Facebook for hopefully one of my 4,086 "friends" to comment on:

 

When political candidates lose the race, where does the residual money go to? They just get to keep it like an indiegogo campaign Or they gotta return it like a Kickstarter campaign since they didn't reach the goal? Lol I wanna know

 

 

One commenter gave this article as a point of reference:

 

Politicians Have Numerous Options for Unused Campaign Cash After Leaving Elected Office

So it basically just stipulates that the money "can't be converted to personal use" but the law is overarching and there are apparently loopholes (of which I'm sure ppl take advantage) BUT it is suggested that it be used for charity donations, other candidates that the individual endorses, put on reserve for future election possibilities for the original candidate etc….there is SO much money and so LITTLE explanation on what actually happens to it….

 

It's disheartening to think that there are millions, possibly billions of dollars out there that are SPECIFICALLY suggested towards causes that could make a difference in this world…that could improve the value of living for many less fortunate/underp-priveledged individuals….being mishandled and misappropriated to greed funds of the people who claimed to have been fighting to get in office to make a difference in the first place…..OR even worse…just sitting in a reserve somewhere doing NOTHING.

 

Just something to think about for the day...

 

 

image

Nikki Giovanni - Think

"I didn't have a child to be canon fodder"
 
 
I've started writing more poetry lately and I do a bit a research every now and again for inspiration. This time I just went on Youtube and searched some of my favorite poets' works…Last week I performed an original poem entitled "Woman" and the coordinator loved it saying that it reminded him of Nikki Giovanni and gave me a printout of "Ego Tripping (there may be a reason why)". Although I was familiar with her name and reputation, I wasn't very familiar with her work so I added her to my Youtube search.
 
I came across this: THINK
 
It was just so powerful….and the story about the man and his door for the exhibit…wow. So I wanted to share it with all of you :) 
 
What are you favorite poems?
 

Who is your favorite poet?
 

 

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